Crazy Train. If you only read for noodz and filthy stories, you may want to skip this one.

*Disclaimer: This is the Long Drawn-Out Version of my first day on Adderall. If you'd like the Short and Sweet Get-To-The-Point-Bitch Version, skip to the end. :)

You may have noticed that I had been talking about my need for medication, umm, A LOT. I finally made the jump to see a new doctor about treatment for my self-diagnosed ADD. Dr. M had come highly recommended so I was pleasantly surprised that he not only was really easy to talk to and nice, but that along with being a general practitioner, he specializes in Sleep Disorders and Cardiovascular Medicine. Those were my two major concerns about going on any sort of regular, daily, stimulant-type medication: is it going to fuck up my sleep and/or make my heart explode. Ok, the second concern was my closet hypochondriac peeking out but whatever, Dr. M was an expert and quickly assuaged my anxiety and prescribed me 10mg of Adderall to be taken in the mornings. My appointment was on Thursday so I decided that I'd begin my adventure into medicated bliss/horror the next day. I figured it'd be a good day to test the effects since all the higher-ups in my company would be gone for a conference so no one would be expecting me to solve any life or death problems at the drop of a hat. Preferable if I was feeling all cracked-out.
Look, I know. You're thinking, It's Adderall. Stop being a little bitch, people take this shit all the time. No Big Deal, right? Well, here's the catch: my body practically goes into seizures over a cup of coffee. I rarely if EVER ingest caffeine and when I do? It's like I ate a bag of meth an chased it with a few rails of Columbia's finest. So yeah, the prospect of taking am honest-to-gawd fucking AMPHETAMINE? Kinda scary, to say the least. That said, my experience wasn't as catastrophic as I envisioned it would be.
I took my dosage at 6:45am before I got on the road for work. I'd read that it makes you seriously thirsty so I made sure I had a big ass bottle of my favorite vintage (raspberry seltzer, bitches) on hand. Everything started off ok although about 20mins later, I noticed my hands (and pretty much everything else) were really cold. I wasn't shivering or anything weird like that but I definitely noticed a chill. No biggie, I just turned on the heat a little. My body felt relaxed all over which I thought was odd (wasn't this an upper?). I got to the office about 7:45am and once I got out of the car I then realized it was pretty much in full swing. That morning I felt extra scatterbrained, unorganized, easily distracted and flustered. A coworker, also on Adderall assured me a week prior that the first few days might feel like that as my body got used to the medication. Ok, fine, I was prepared for that. I just used a bunch of my organizational systems and methods I've always used to help with my attention issues and I muddled through pretty well. My pupils were dilated and all morning I kept thinking, OMG I CAN SEE FOREVER... Like I said, I was easily distracted. At 10:30, I took my St. John's Wort (which I know now was a pretty big no-no since I think it caused/helped cause what happened later that day.) and steadily drank a million ounces of seltzer/water/whatever I could get my hands on. So. Thirsty. So very thirsty... although at first, every time I took a sip, I kinda wanted to vom. Pleasant. I managed not to puke which was awesome and the feeling soon passed. I managed to pee a gazillion times, I counted. I also should mention that in no way did I feel like eating. At all. I was aware that would happen and had to force myself to eat throughout the day. Here's what I managed to eat: a banana at 10am; ONE, yes one chicken wing around 11:30 and a cookie at 2pm. I left work at 3pm and ate a slice of pizza at 5. That's it.
I left at 3:00 because around 2:30 I started hitting the wall. Which after researching a few things, I now think may have been caused/intensified by the St. John's Wort. I felt drained, spaced out and wanted to lay down. I didn't necessarily want a nap but I wanted to put my head down on something soft and rest. I did not enjoy that feeling whatsoever so I took out another pill and cut it into quarters and ate a tiny piece. I don't think it really started to work until I was home later and chilling out so yeah, I need to re-evaluate what time I take my first dose and I guess the St. John's Wort is going out the window. I'm not sure what the half-life is on the SJW or the Adderall so I guess I can't take either one at all in any proximity to each other. Oh well. Hopefully, the Adderall can fill in where SJW left off since it's been known to help with improving moods, etc. We shall see.
ANYWAY, I think taking my first dose of Adderall will be at 10am from this point forward. I'm sure taking half in the morning and half at lunch would work as well but I suck terribly at multi-doses so once a day is best for me. Perhaps an extended-release option will be my best bet. I guess I'll be talking to Dr. M when I see him next month.
Later in the evening I was cranky as hell coming down and since I took that quarter of a dose around 3:00, naturally I had a harder time going to bed. I popped two Melatonin (which I read was ok to continue taking at night) and I was out before my 20-min TV timer went off, which was awesome.
This morning, again I was Ms. CrankyPants for no discernible reason. I usually only get that nasty once a month, if you know what I mean. The crankiness really makes me long for something to even out my mood (like SJW) especially since I hate taking it out on Mr. Darling and the pups as I'm wont to do when I'm slightly chemically imbalanced. I guess we'll see how things go as time progresses and I get used to this new regimen.

*Long story short: my initial reaction to the Adderall? I'm sure it's a good tool, I just need to give it some time. Will I take it everyday, forever? I don't know. I got a lot more done at work than I thought I would and the come-down wasn't too bad although not awesome and filled with cranky. I'm disappointed I cannot take it with St. John's Wort but I'll see how I do before I go and try to find a suitable replacement. So far, I'll be taking it everyday and report back on any important revelations.


  1. Yeah, I have 20 mg, and since it's not time release, I take half in the AM and half at lunch. Otherwise, you definitely hit that wall. A time-release might be better for you if you don't want to take it more than once a day.

    It's definitely an appetite suppressant, so you have to make yourself eat, and the thirst you get used to, but you'll be really thirsty for a while.

    It's a life-saving drug for me.

  2. hmm I am not on my adderal at the moment so this will be disjointed...Took ritalin for nearly 10 yrs. slowly decided it was ineffective, then realize on particular maker of genreic didn't work for me. went to the better for me brand was back to 'normal' but gave me the courage to try something new..I had no insurance for years and adderol wasnt avail generic back is, plus i have great insurance..

    took it..

    OM goodness it was night and day...I LIKE adderol. I was worried I like like it you know? I dont need app suppressent, but they didnt call it dexatrim back in the day for nothing when it was legal over the it keeps me up on my 12 hour night shifts..on ritalin I ould take a nap...they didnt call it black beauties when johnny cash took them..:)

    i GREW up mormon..(shouldnt say it that way still am) and no drugs at all ever, not even usually prescription even though there is no problem with prescribed religion wise...I just am pretty polorized black white in my thinking..(then) like you any stimulent is a lot..

    Saint johns wort may be a natural ssri (selective seratonin reuptake prozzac...botanicals arent accurrately titrated, be careful...antidepressents amp up the effects of stimulents...

    I had to scribble this mostly because I have to save your blog to read later and needed a way to do it that doesnt involve a bookmark on kids computer..mine is down...

    can you just hear my add screaming in your head in this diatribe?