Do you really need to be a cockbag at 8:00am?

Here's the email conversation I had first thing this morning with our resident shithead co-worker. (every office has one.)

Asshat Dennis: I need the info for Mr. Customer's credit approval ASAP. I'm too busy to come into the office. (mind you he's not my boss, not even above me in chain of command but he works on the road as a salesman and they get snippy since their job sucks, so I help them when I can since we're all on the same team. Apparently he didn't get the "I'm helping you out of the kindness of my heart" memo.)

Me: Ok, give me one sec. to track it down.

Asshat Dennis: I'll be waiting. I'm busy and need it now. (WTF? didn't I just say i was getting it? this motherfucker...)

Me: (4 mins later) Account # xxxxxxxxx approved for $12, 500 - no conditions. Make sure you adjust the recession dates on the paperwork.

Asshat Dennis: Took you long enough. and you mean recision.

Me: Whatever, Dennis. Just make it happen, please. I know you said you're busy, but it's good to see that you're not too busy to check people's spelling in a casual email. By the way, if you want to get technical, its rescission.

Asshat Dennis: oh.


This is my life, ya'll. Now you see why I'd rather sell my panties on the internet.