420

Happy Stoner holiday, ya'll. I hope those of you that "partake" are having fun and making the most of this day!

I was never much of a "toker" if you will... I always wished I could smoke and laugh all day at dumb shit with my friends but I could never really enjoy the high. I'd always get super paranoid and nervous. Needless to say, those aren't my favorite mental states, so I tend to pass rather than puff.
Get it? puff, puff, pass? Ok, I know it was cheesy. STOP JUDGING ME.

Anyway, I also never liked being so hungry I could eat like a host to a tapeworm. That shit makes you bloated like a mug the next day and even though I'm chubby, extra bloat does not go unnoticed or unappreciated to say the least. I'm fat enough, give me a damn break. Not to mention all the "deep thoughts" that lead me to really getting inside my own head. I honestly do not need to get that intimately reacquainted with the deep recesses of my sick and twisted mind. It's a scary place in there, ya'll... no thanks.

So what the hell was I trying to say? Oh yeah, Merry Weedmas or whatever. Smoke a fat one for me, since I can't enjoy one myself without spiralling retardedly into a dark session of self psychoanalysis while eating an entire chocolate chip bunt cake with a side of gummy worms and cheetos.

Now painkillers, that's a destructive habit I can get behind! Where's THAT holiday?